Free Money

Here at 90MilesNorth, we march (lock-step, in fact) to the beat of the following mantra – “Damn, we’re broke.”

Ah, who cares. You’re probably broke, too. If not, get out. We’re not talking to you.

Everybody else can rest assured that this is not a plea for money to help get our fledgling, web-video business off the ground. We’re actually looking to give you some cash.

You’re probably thinking several things: Wow, how can a small start-up offer me money in this economy; I wonder if there’s going to be a point made in this rant; how come nothing rhymes with “orange”?

The answer is no, we’re not just going to give you money. You gotta work fer it, dude. Here’s how it goes: We know you. You know people. You probably know some people that own or work at a small business in the Hudson Valley. Hook those people up with our people. Whatever type of beautiful, cash-spewing relationship results, you get a cut.

And yes, “my friends” (circa John McCain, fall of 2008), your cut will be monstrous. And by monstrous, we at 90 Miles North mean 15 percent, more or less….kinda.

Ok, fine. Twenty percent. Your cut will be 20 percent. I don’t know how we’re gonna have any money left over for our traditional-based media blitz to get 90MilesNorth some friggin’ attention. Oh that’s right – traditional media advertising sucks and doesn’t work because the Internet is now twisting the knife it sunk into TV/newspapers/radio over the past decade. (Zing!) That’s why we make documercials for local businesses and cut large swaths across the Internet with them. (Zing, again)

And that’s the story of 90MilesNorth. Hey, you can use that when you’re arranging for your people to talk to our people**.  Do whatever works. If you are detained, try and ask the arresting officer if he or she has any connections to the small business community. You lose your cut, but damn that’ll be a great story to tell (the judge).

Bottom line – you make a couple calls; drop a few e-mails to your friends; put them in touch with us using the contact information below; and we will actually come to your house and line your pockets with your cut. Amen.

Also, if you want to know more about this deal-io, get in touch with us.

** ed. note: We have no actual people. 90MilesNorth exists through the tireless (more or less) efforts of Andrew, Lori and our cats – Baby Hank (the loudly stupid and awful smelly) and Zelly (the psychotic and unruly Princess). What we lack in outdoor winter apparel, we make up in awesomeness.


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